Monday, July 13, 2009

'Post' of Shame

This blog post hurts me for a number of reasons.

One, this was breaking Times Square news last week and I failed to be the one to break it to you. Two, I was chastised by two separate parties for this failure. Three, I actually have to link to the NY Post and cite them with a photo credit.

As to the first and second count, I can only plead that I was in my office, working at my obviously less-important, non-blog related job, and did not actually see the incident take place. As to the third count, what can I say? After years of surreptitiously reading the NY Post over the shoulders of many-a fellow subway commuter, maybe it was time I paid back the "newspaper" in kind.

So thanks NY Post, for capturing these photographs for me. And for all those lessons in hilarious headline-writing that saved me $279 in mediabistro tuition. (Lesson #1: Abbreviate Any Word Longer Than Three Letters. Lesson #2: Make Pun.)

Anyhoo, now that that unnecessarily long intro is over, apparently this happened on Thursday:

And then, more incredibly, this:

That's right. Batman and Superman were arrested for Performing in Costume Without a License. Batman went quietly. Probably because Bruce Wayne could make bail in about 2.3 seconds and knows enough higher-ups to get that shit off of his permanent record. In fact, he probably got Commissioner Gordon to reverse-charge the cops.

Superman, on the other hand, apparently put up a fight (see above). Now, I really can't account for this since I can't think of a prison that could actually hold the Man of Steel. My only theory is that maybe he was laid off from the struggling Daily Planet, got into it real bad with Lois Lane, had a few too many Jagermeisters, and then temporarily forgot that he possessed superpowers. Either that, or those cops have now taken to carrying kryptonite in their pockets.

In all seriousness, though, I am actually outraged. I mean don't NYC cops have anything better to do than arrest people for their questionable wardrobe choices? Don't they care that there are likely much more sinister things going on and, more importantly, that I need these people around to continue writing on here?! Write to your local congressmen, folks. Demand that the cops focus their energy on some sort of necessary stop sign or unsolved murder. Do it for this blog.

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