Decisions, Decisions

In Part II of What DTS Did On Its Summer Vacation: Atlantic City Edition, we ask - after a grueling henna session, what else could one need other than a nice, soothing massage?

Luckily, I have two AC "Spa" recommendations which come with extremely top-notch credentials. The first:



As you can see, this massage parlor has the distinction of getting the highly coveted rating of "Voted # [Thumbs Up]." Have you ever seen any place worthy of getting that rating before?! Of course not. The Voted # [Thumbs Up] is the equivalent of 6 Michelin Stars, of a 900 SAT verbal score, of Grade A+++ meat. So elusive that it is thought not even to exist...until, one day, you are lucky enough to spot it in the last place you would expect it. Just a hop away from the image of a urinating defunct Sunday comic character.

You're probably wondering what other massage recommendation I have that could possibly beat that. Only this:



It may not have the rating or the elitist attitude. But it seems to me like a happy ending is being guaranteed. And, sometimes, isn't it all about doing away with the fancy frou frous and getting down to the good old-fashioned simple joys of life?

That's Atlantic City for you: something for everyone.

What DTS Did On Its Summer Vacation

Well, folks, summer is almost officially over. And not only did we New Yorkers get a rainy, dreary, gloomy one, but I wasn't even able to harness the crazy enough to write regular posts on this thing. If there was a DTS Eeyore, I would insert him here now.

Even though this summer doesn't really deserve it, I think I'm going to try to give it one last hurrah by dedicating this new mini-themed blog within a themed blog to it. Because as it turns out, although Times Square naturally continues to be the epicenter of WTF-dom, there is actually a whole world of lunacy out there. And so I present...What DTS Did on Its Summer Vacation. Part 1.

Our first stop...Atlantic City. A city so magical that it must have known how homesick I felt as I tread its hallowed grounds.



Why, what's that I spot above the peeing Calvin image?



Well, I'll be darned. If it isn't Sad Sack Mickey and Unhealthily Obsessive Minnie (Stage 1 of Serial Killer Minnie). Why yes, yes Atlantic City! I would like these images to appear in diminishing colors of brown on my skin for the next 2-3 weeks! What a wonderful way to honor the ancient Eastern art of henna.

Right on my lower back if you please. And you know what...I'll take peeing Calvin too. How about you take one of those super-original tribal tattoos to the left and artistically insert Mickey, Minnie, and Calvin into them? Go ahead. I trust that your aesthetic judgment will create a DTS-worthy piece, sure to give me the confidence to walk the Boardwalk with a spring in my step and a burning hope for future blog posts. Which will take me all of 1/2 a foot to the next booth...

Stay tuned for the exciting continuation of "What DTS Did On Its Summer Vacation!"