And because the merriment of the season has put me in a super-generous mood, I present you with this most rare and ultimate of all DTS photos. I call it, The Man Behind the Dinge.
I wasn't close enough to hear what unmasked Dingy Elmo was saying to the unidentified man with the newspaper - and by wasn't close enough, I mean I gave a wide berth to the dude because the crazy in his actual eyes might have been slightly crazier than the maniacal Elmo eyes I've learned to treasure. But I'm going to pretend the conversation went something like this:
Dingy Elmo: Look at this. What the hell is this? A blue backpack? What kind of a muppet in a pimp hat would be carrying around a blue backpack? Where's my beaded purse, man? WTF? I wouldn't even touch this with my dingy fur. I'm gonna have to actually take my arm out of the fur sleeve to touch this shit.
Unidentified Man: Sir, I don't know you and you're not really making any sense.
DE: Are you even listening to me?! Do you understand how upset I must be to be half-dressed and unmasked a mere three feet from my corner. What if a fucking kid sees me like this, man? Do you want him to believe there's no such thing as Elmo. Is that what you want?!
UM: I'm gonna slowly step away now...
Yes, Virginia, there is a Dingy Elmo. And he continues to mystify and terrify all the boys and girls on the corner of 45th and Broadway every single day. Season's Greetings!
