Friday, April 10, 2009

Always Read the Fine Print

When confronted with this:

...the first thing I think is...OMFG. What could it possibly mean?! Now. Serving. Breakfast? Which word is the emphasis on? What is the subject of this sentence? What's a breakfast?

Thankfully, Planet Hollywood is so aware of its audience base that it has included a footnote on this poster. It reads: Visit the Host Stand for Details.

I immediately decided to forgo work yesterday to find out more about this baffling poster. A very, very nice and knowledgeable young lady explained to me that see, some people, when they wake up, they're hungry. And they want a meal (that's the breakfast part) and they want it to be served to them. So they go to a restaurant, like Planet Hollywood, where they sit down and a nice person brings them something called a menu. And then what happens is they have to read the menu. But the open-minded, open-hearted Planet Hollywood knows that not everyone can read, so that's why they also have big, beautiful pictures of all their dishes, too. And then...

Truth be told, I'm not doing this explanation justice. If you're anywhere in the New York area, I highly recommend visiting the Planet Hollywood host stand and asking them for details yourself. Actually, I would treat them like an all-around help desk. Bring them your questions about the city, the Spanish Revolution, Fermat's Last Theorem. I have full faith that anyone manning their host stand deserves to be a part of the world's most profound think tanks. But let's face it, they probably like their chicken caesar salad wrap discount too much to leave.

Today, I plan to bring a map and ask them to pinpoint exactly where Amelia Earhart's plane went down. I'll post an update with the answer soon!

1 comment:

  1. I think that sign was put up especially for me, as they knew I would come and ask if I could get anything without butter...preferably served by Sylvester Stallone.