Friday, April 24, 2009

It's Official: They Are Building An Army

If I had to break down the entire conceit of this blog into one word, that word would be: WHY?

And really never has that point been made clearer to me than last night, when...

On my way home, I naturally strolled by Pimp Hat Elmo. And then, a few blocks later, Elmo 2.0. But only as I was just about to uneventfully go down the subway stairs did I witness this:

No, that's not a reflection you see. That is indeed a third Elmo within spitting distance of the second one. Now Pimp Hat Elmo obviously has a gimmick with his choice of chapeau, but is the demand for fake Elmos really SO out-of-control that there needs to be two of them staked out across the street from one another?

I had only just taken that picture when this happened:

Oh, yeah. Cookie Monster was there too. Why not? Note the matching Christmas stockings as handbags. Classy.

And then:

I'm sorry this picture is not better, but I think even my camera could not handle the WTF level of having Elmo 3, Cookie Monster, and Minnie Mouse standing in front of Ann Taylor Loft. Reasons being:

a) Minnie?! Girl, what are you doing hanging out with naked monsters? Where is Mickey during all this, huh? Probably sitting at home, all unsuspecting, wearing pants.

For shame, Min. Your slip is showing and the way Elmo is undressing you with his eyes is, quite frankly, creepy.

b) The matching backpacks and Christmas stockings lead me to believe that Minnie, Cookie Monster and Elmo 2.0 and 3.0 are most likely working together. Um, guys, in all honesty I think it would have been much more financially gainful for one of you to have chosen a different costume. What about Big Bird? Grover? Snuffleupagus? Could you just not decide who got the coveted Elmo spot that day? Or is this a case of the great Muppet costume variety shortage this country is obviously suffering from? Or did Elmo 2.0 just need red-furred back-up to take on Pimp Hat Elmo after their previous scuffle?

c) None of these characters would shop at Ann Taylor Loft. For one thing, three of them are naked. For another, I don't think that any of their occupations require business casual attire. Wait, let's see: Hyperactive monster with a blood sugar problem, child monster, child monster again, lady rodent. Nope.

As disturbing as all this is, this post would not be complete if I didn't tell you that my morning consisted of seeing a man in a Stewie head and trenchcoat, handing out coupons to Friday's. Don't believe me?

But that is another blog for another day.


  1. This blog gets better and better.

  2. Jesus. H. Christ. Times Square is a goddamn nightmare.

  3. That Stewie picture gives me the creeps! I think it might be his tan jacket. Also, probably the funniest thing I've read all day :)